Thoughts

I'm finding that it is a bit of a strange sensation to lose a parent. My dad died yesterday. He has been living with Alzheimers for a few hears and went downhill pretty rapidly in the past few weeks. I'm in the Oakland airport on my way to Washington to help with arrangements and to spend some time with Mom.

Sometimes I cry and sometimes I'm perfectly fine. I've been living away from Mom and Dad for a long time but I think it is going to be really strange to walk into my childhood home later today and not have him there. And he's not just a phone call away anymore.

The up side of times like these is that it can be a very spiritual experience and it is almost always a nice reunion with family and friends. All of my siblings are coming, of course, and many of Mom's grandchildren are making arrangements too. It will be great to see everyone again.

My Mom is an amazing woman. She will be fine and is doing well right now. She has a strong spirit, her health is good and she has a positive attitude about everything. I could stand to take a few pages out of her book.

Dad gave us a lot of good times as our dad. He took us on a lot of family vacations when we were growing up. He taught us how to play cards. I remember pitching pennies once while we were waiting for Lagoon to open. He taught us how to golf. He always made Christmas really fun even when we came to visit as adults. I remember once on Christmas after Greg and I and the kids had gone to bed, I heard Dad walking down the hall carrying jingle bells to give us the feeling that Santa was in the house. He was always very involved and loved making it special for us.

I remember him paying me when I memorized my multiplication tables. Once he even paid me a nickel a fly to go out on the carport of our Arizona house and kill flies. In hindsight, he was probably trying to keep me busy and out of his hair. Good plan.

I remember him lecturing me sometimes as a teenager and then afterwards giving me a hug and slipping me a 20 dollar bill. I liked his way of "showing forth afterwards an increase of love".

I remember back in the more lawless days, he would put me on his lap and let me drive the car home. That was awesome! No seatbelts or carseats required.

I remember him calling me "Deac" when I turned 12 years old because I was his 4th daughter and I guess he was anxious for a priesthood holder. I was a little bit tomboyish too probably because I remember watching football games with him on tv.

I also remember that we ate Mom's rice pudding together. And we both liked to drink the leftover pumpkin pie filling after the pies were filled. I pretty much idolized him when I was growing up.

I remember him always carrying candy in his suit pocket at church--he loved jordan almonds. Maybe that's why I always have something in my purse at church--mostly chocolate covered raisins.

I remember how our kids could touch one of his knees and that would turn on "the monster" and then they could touch the other knee to turn it off--if they could get to it while the monster was alive.

There are many more memories but I'm about to board a plane. If I could have spoken to him before he left this life, I would have told him how much I love him and asked him to please say hi to Ceri (my sister), Devin (my son) and Alex (my nephew). What a reunion they will have.

And so will we someday. Love you, Dad.