1. They magically appear anywhere and everywhere
2. They have too many legs
3. They sit in one place for hours and then when you turn your head, they’re gone
4. When one is on the ceiling and you spray it with Raid so you don’t have to touch it, it falls right toward you—why? Why? Why? Because, like a dog, it smells your fear—or it could be mad about the Raid.
5. Arachnid—what a fittingly ugly name.
6. They ruin spring. Don’t normal creations want to be outside in the spring? Apparently not spiders.
7. After I see and/or kill one, I feel creepy crawly for hours. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night.
8. They don’t like to be killed. One time I sucked two of them up with the vacuum and they came back out.
9. They have the potential to ruin a marriage. When I get fed up, I say to my husband, “It’s either me or the spiders,” and I’m never quite sure which way he will go with that. So far so good. He sprays.
15 comments:
Love your thoughts and your sense of humor. Keep the Raid handy.
I hate them too, although lately I think I hate scorpions even more. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and almost stepping on one. Ew. I guess we should like spiders/arachnids because they eat other bugs but why don't they stay outside? I enjoy reading your blog :-)
I hate them too!! Once I called James and made him come home from work to kill one, and it was a cricket, instead. In my defense, I was sick and pregnant, and too tired to get up and kill it. It was in my bedroom, what's a girl to do?
Ditto on the loving your blog and sense of humor!
Also, what are the exact dates of the reunion? Am I in charge of anything, or owe anybody any money?
I am deathly afraid of them too. They are awful, and I wish they were never created. Yuck, I just even hate thinking about them. I think I posted about them once, I hate them all. When we lived in the country we would have wolf spiders in the house, all the time, it was horrible. Arachnophobia was the worst movie ever. Hairspray sometimes works if you can't find the raid. Personally, I just scream until someone comes and saves me before the little thing eats me alive, because you know that could happen.
The ultimate worst and most disgusting thing is when I have to kill a spider with a paper towel or toilet paper wadded up in my fingers:
Either the spider somehow manages to not get squished and drops to the floor causing me to jump in terror,
OR
I get the spider and have to feel the uber-nasty CRUNCH of its exoskeleton (or whatever) between my fingers. EWW.
Love your comments on this everyone. Thanks for feeling my pain.
Let's form a WAA club: women against arachnids. We could demonstrate in San Francisco, or maybe Berkeley would be even better. Maybe someone would hear our cries and give us free extermination services.
Or we could just go to lunch.
Let me speak for men everywhere
(YAWN)
Oh my, I am absolutely petrified of spiders, they completely incapacitate me! The worst thing is I'm pretty much incapable of killing them, I've probably only killed like 20 in my life, and most of those were sending them down the bath tub drain.
I once called Joan from half a block away to come kill one when my roommates couldn't kill it either. I'm a woos and a half! I know it's a problem, but I can't seem to get over it.
My biggest fear! Well, spiders and clowns. Who could possibly think clowns = happy fun? I digress.
I have been feeling a little guilty lately as I scream and call Brian to kill a spider and then later that night sing Itsy Bitsy Spider with Lyza as if the spider were this cute little cuddly bug we would love to play with. Mixed messages, but what is a girl to do? Definitely not let the little 1mm in diameter spider stay in my house one more second. :)
love this post. all good reasons to hate spiders. i used to wake alex up and make him kill them whenever i found them in the bathroom. he didn't like them, either, but he'd still rescue me.
I tell you, I don't love spiders, either, but my biggest, no, HUGEST disgust is with cockroaches. I despise them. I hate them. They are despicable, they are evil, they mess with your head, and they have absolutely no purpose whatsoever on this planet.
I'd be willing to stake my reputation as a cockroach hater that they serve no purpose on any other planet either.
They are COWARDS. They come out at night and sneak into your bread box. They hide under your sink and crawl out of your bathroom drains.
Vile.
They don't even have the guts to look you in the eye.
Oh, they do have GUTS though. Just try stepping on one.
You'll only do it once.
After that, you'll REMOVE your shoe and hurl it with every ounce of strength you can muster. This is my best method because the crash of its impact against the wall makes enough noise that you can't hear cockroach's body squish. Or, more accurately, crunch.
Unless it's a V-E-R-Y L-A-R-G-E cockroach, in which case I usually bellow and roar while I hurl. Hurl the shoe I mean.
You NEED that much noise because killing a cockroack is to killing a spider as eating potato chips is to eating marshmallows.
But cockroaches can outrun you. So you'd better have both shoes ready. Or a whole arsenal.
Having killed a few (thousand)is how I know they have GUTS.
Thank goodness we're not living among them any more. But twenty-one years later, I s.t.i.l.l. r.e.m.e.m.b.e.r.
Who else's children spent their early developmental years yelling, "Cockroach alert! Cockroach alert!"
Fine....I'll stick to spiders. You've convinced me. But I still hate them.
Very enjoyably descriptive comment!
WV=junplese May we have the reunion in junplese?
Megara: Clowns? Boy have I got the toy for you!
I'll tell you why I hate spiders--because they create too much work for me. One little spider on the floor has Shawn crawling into the kitchen cabinets to get away. And heaven forbid if the little critter gets away!! At that point, fumigation is the only option. My brother once had a fake rubber spider with a little air pump doohickey that would make it jump. The fact that I am still married means I didn't try it out at home.
Count me in the WAA! Can I be the vp or at least the treasurer? I think I've earned it-I totally believe spiders can smell fear and attack it. Two ganged up on me once in the shower at girls camp about 17 years ago-jumped right on me. It was like being in a horror movie.
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